Alma 28:4

4 And now this was a time that there was a great mourning and lamentation heard throughout all the land, among all the people of Nephi

Were the Nephites widows bitter at their new, gentle, non-frighting neighbors? How could those thoughts not at least knock at their minds door? "You wouldn't fight, so my husband had to. Now I don't have him, but you still have yours." Seems a natural thought to have. I wonder how much harder even it was for the non-fighting fathers? I also can't help but wonder why they weren't warned and protected? I know the answer (or at least pieces of it,) but I have to go through that lesson/truth every time I come to it. I have to re-ask God, a lot.